That was really shitty of me

Hey guys, Hope everyone is doing well! At the time of writing this, we are all living through the COVID19 pandemic and we are on lockdown! So I thought it would be a great opportunity to check in on Dad Vibes. I know it’s been a while and I really do feel shitty for leaving the blog the way I did with Episode 11, I just left it when there was much more of our story to share!

Remarkably I remembered my logins, so I’ve given the logo a little gay update and changed the website theme as the last was a little confusing. What I’ve noticed and have really liked seeing since delving back into the Dad Vibes world, is seeing everyone using my website! I’ve had visitors from all over the world spending time reading all my ramblings!

Episode 12

Clearly there was a need for a twelfth episode, I left off when we first met our little son; it really does seem like ages ago now! We took him home and it was the start of our little family. If you’ve read the blog you’ll know that we took him on a ‘foster to adopt’ basis so we did in fact go back to panel again, this was ‘Placement Panel’ we were allowed to take our son along to this. Our social worker had basically told us before heading in that it would be a sure thing that the outcome would be positive, but this panel felt bizarre. 

Basically we were heading back to panel in order to be our sons approved adopters, the boy that had been living with us for the past month who we’d already let into our hearts. This panel would decide if it was a good enough match and therefore granting us permission to submit an adoption order to the courts.

We entered the panel room and our son literally stole the show! Mark and I sat back and enjoyed all the cooing faces. In no time the panel members had come to a decision. As we were waiting for the verdict our social worker got quite emotional, she informed us that we were her favourite family and she had purchased gifts and asked for pictures to be taken. We really loved this social worker, we kind of owe everything to her. 

Everyone was emotional in the room, the lead panel member returned with the verdict, it was another unanimous yes. Amongst all the happiness there was a sudden realisation and pang of sadness, we would be saying goodbye to our social worker. 

Post Placement Panel

We were visited by our son’s social worker for weeks after the panel. Social workers have to do statutory visits to make sure you are coping and progressing as a family. Our son’s social worker was a friendly guy and he never stayed too long. He informed us that after 10 weeks we could make the adoption legal and apply for an adoption court order. This gives you parental rights and responsibilities for the child. So that’s exactly what we did.

The court date was a few months later and it’s strange because we didn’t actually attend. You have representatives that are there on your behalf, basically they fight your corner and our son’s birth parents were invited to object to the adoption hearing; and that’s exactly what a birth parent did! Luckily for us, our son’s birth parents had made no life changes and had no chance so the adoption order was granted!

What I will say about court day is that, it’s such a long day! We were on hooks all day waiting for the phone call to let us know the outcome, it wasn’t until 4pm that we got it… 

It was Sally, our social worker. She was calling to congratulate us and we both cried in the car with our son sitting in his car seat in the back. Such a great feeling!

Celebration Time

You get the opportunity to have a celebration hearing at court that takes place after the court hearing that has granted an adoption order and this is a chance for adoptive families to celebrate the making of an adoption order. Adoptive families visit the court and meet the judge, who will give a certificate and usually invite families and friends to take photos. Celebration days have no legal standing, and are not part of the adoption process they are just something that is a bit…nice

We didn’t actually take any family or friends, we just wanted it to be us 3. We arrived at the court, our celebration hearing happened to be on the years anniversary of us meeting our son (which we thought was brilliant). When we arrived at reception and gave our names she told us that we had someone already waiting in our allocated waiting room. We had no clue who this was as we hadn’t told anyone…. It was Sally! 

It was so nice to see her! She had gifts for our son and told us she really wanted to be here for us, we were one of her first families to work with and it meant a lot for her to be there, we were over the moon. The celebration hearing took place… honestly, it wasn’t groundbreaking but it was nice to take a token picture of us all behind the judge podium. 

This marked the start of the next chapter, our family with no social workers or procedures.

Coming soon

Again I am so sorry, I’ve put this ‘admin’ post together to give a really brief update to the final parts of our adoption. If there are any questions feel free to ask below, if not…

Stay tuned for Season 2, coming soon! 

One comment on “Update”

  1. I’m so glad you have published an update – I’ve read your blog easily 10 times start to finish since I found it.

    We’ve decided today, after 3 years of talking… we’re starting our journey. So excited to come back and see you 3 are doing well.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *